In search of the lost senses 

Transforming the way we make love starts with changing the way we act in the world, that is, interacting with others. But where to begin?

Whether you’re a “one-night stand” or a “love at first sight”, discover a new way of having sex with four simple techniques to regain the use of your senses and improve your sexuality.

What if we start by looking up and around ? 

This will allow us to focus on physical realities and not on the advertisements that constantly surround us. Let’s build our own palette of representations through reality. Let’s look at each person in the street, observe their emotions. Let’s imagine their history, their psychological state at the time. Let’s look at the way they dress, their faces.

From time to time, select one of the people you meet and imagine a story with them.  It could be a simple meeting. Imagine that they could be your future lover, a friend, your colleague at work. Invent their character traits, and dream! In a short time, you will realise that people are beautiful. You will feel more comfortable in contact with each other, but you also will feel more at ease in society because you will know the true face of the space in which you evolve.

From this first, fairly simple experience, a desire to get to know yourself better will emerge, and it will be easier to appreciate yourself.

Take the time to take care of yourself, and make the most of yourself aesthetically and psychologically. 

What if we were to become fully
aware of our possibility to change ?

We tend to procrastinate on ourselves. We find excuses to put off our good mood until tomorrow. We list the negative aspects of our life in order to convince ourselves that no change is possible. Above all, we like to make our faults our identity: “I’m in a bad mood, it’s my personality, it’s me, I can’t change myself. This is who I am.”.

What if you tried? What if you became a good mood? Present yourself to others as a radiant being with a champagne mood. Work on being happy and proud of yourself as an individual. We are changing, and if we didn’t change we would all be playing hopscotch today. We would still be as jealous of our brothers and sisters, and most importantly there is a good chance that we would be stupid if we don’t change.

How about trusting our imagination
when it comes to sexuality ? 

Let’s start by reducing our consumption of pornography and trust our imagination to create our own fantasies. Let’s detach ourselves from the prescribed fantasies.

Initially, you can use known scenes and then work on your imagination. The previous exercises will help you to develop your fantasies. It often takes several weeks before you are able to revive your own fantasy imagination.

What if we communicate with our senses ? 

To communicate with our senses, we must first get to know them. Let’s start by looking at ourselves and touching ourselves. Let’s get to know each other.

What kind of caresses do we enjoy? What kind of pressure? How fast? In which places?

Try with a sultana. Take it with tweezers and close your eyes. Now smell the sultana. Remember the smell. Then touch it, crush it, remember its shape, its complexity. Now look at it precisely, and finally taste it with everything you know about the raisin in mind. This is called mindfulness.

Sensate focus is an extremely effective exercise that can be practiced as a couple, and is often recommended in sexology consultations, allowing you to learn to develop your sensations with your partner.To reconnect with yourself and with your partner in your sexuality, you must accept to take time to experience your sensations, mentally and physically.

 

Let’s reconnect with our body and our imagination. Let’s give ourselves as the first objective: the pleasure of exchanging, the pleasure of developing ourselves, and not the orgasm.

The more we find harmony with ourselves and with our partner. The more we will be able to increase our sensations tenfold, to co-construct fantasies with our partner, to initiate games and to transmit our desires in a non-verbal way.
Become a sexual being, as you want to become,
in a word: be desire !

Cathline Smoos,
Adventurous Spaceship Captain
Imbue VR

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