Why is sex and pleasure such a hot topic?


If we cannot yet prove that a fulfilling sex life contributes to good health, it is certain that difficulties inevitably lead to certain social, emotional, and personal discomforts.

On the one hand we have sex fanatics, from any kind of style porn, ads, and pumps. On the other we have our friends the puritans, who  insist that abstinence and self-control are supreme virtues (A thought for the tragedy of the abortion law in the USA, we support you ).

It’s hard to take a stand, so I sometimes have patients who say “I don’t need it: Sex toys, virtual reality, coaching, or reading. No, it’s too much”, they’re often afraid of falling into the sex fanatics box, or alternatively by repressing themselves off from the discoveries of the pleasure of love and sexuality, they’re afraid of being considered as puritans.

Will getting laid with a vibrator prevent us from enjoying a simpler, more sensual sexuality? Will we all plunge into the pursuit of the Ever-Plus?
Again, the culinary metaphors are the closest to the pleasure of sex. <– Unclear what this sentence means.

Have you ever seen someone refuse to make strawberry charlotte because they are afraid they won’t like apple pie anymore? <– Never heard of strawberry charlotte. Strawberry shortcake maybe?

For sex it’s the same : expanding our repertoire of senses and experiences is more likely to lead us to develop our relationships with  our partners and with ourselves than to repress us off from our sensitivity . It is in the act of freeing ourselves from certain preconceived ideas, and of arousing our curiosity that will allow us to be happy in bed and in our lives.

But we need to be clear-headed enough  to avoid escaping from one prison only to lock ourselves in another, and this is where the cult of performance has played its cards badly: some people have escaped from the area of the sexually repressed, inadvertantely ending up in the area of the sensually repressed instead.

In short, the tarte French Apple Pie called Tatin-Pie would never have existed if the Tatin sisters had not wanted to revolutionize the apple tart!  So today I invite you to appreciate both styles of recipes, whether in bed or in pastry. For that you need only be open to diversity by learning to recognize it.

By the way, if you’ve never heard about the Tatin Apple Pie check out the recipe, here.

Cathline Smoos 

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